dee wee my friend the massive idiot

Adam Sandler

He said he d be here at seven
The clock just hit 7:22
It s too cold outside
To wait for my ride
Watching mamma try out a new doo (Bruins)

He said he d be here at seven
But it just hit 7:35 (already?)
Here in Brockton, Mass.,
I got my thumb in my ass
Mamma s combing up a big beehive (Celtics)

Where the fuck is he?
Where the fuck is he?

The bitch doesn t even bother calling
Even though it s 7:44 (I fell asleep, pally)
I m feeling kinda antsy
Mamma s getting fancy
Slicking back a wet pompadour (Red Sox)

He said he d be here at seven
It s closing in on 8:01 (Trimmin the stache, kid)
Me lookin like a sap
In a wool knit cap
Mamma s next move is a bun (fuckin Patriots)

Where the fuck is he? (My pants are still in the dryer, dude)
Where the fuck is he? (I couldn t find my fuckin snowboots, pal)
I wish I had a car (Huge, huge hangover)
Oh, no (Massive hailstorm, massive hailstorm, massive)

That stupid little punk
He s probably fuckin drunk
I bet he drank a case
Wanna pop him in the face right now
Mamma s eyebrow

Wicked good
Wicked good (Oh, GOD)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Fuck yeah)
Wicked good
Wicked good (Pisser?)

Well my friend is still a no-show
And I m getting fucking pissed (Why?)
Cause I could ve gone with Charlie
In the side of his Harley
Mamma s on the phone with a stylist (Fuck Charlie!)

So I guess I ain t going out tonight
Cause the digits say 12:09 (Shit-faced)
But call the operator
Cause one perm later
Mamma s hair sure do look fine (Heffenreffer!!!)

Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! My stepfather was tellin me a wicked funny joke!)
Where the fuck is he? (Ah, ha ha! I forgot it though)

I wish I had a car
I wish I had a car (A cop pulled me over, buddy)

I wish I went with Charlie (5.2 blood level, state record)
I could have gone with Charlie (I m in a wicked mess of trouble, ha ha!)

He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He gotta dee wee
He got a D.W.I. (Up the river [repeat 9x])